The Wellness Proposal

  Introduction: What do we know? Psychologists have found that a maladaptive explanatory (or attributional) style is an important factor that predicts learned helplessness . So, what do these words mean?  Let’s break these terms down bit-by-bit: Maladaptive Explanatory Style The term “maladaptive” essentially means “bad”. Think about it: anything that allows us to adapt to our environment (adaptive) is considered good because it ensures survival. On the contrary, things that lead us to “not-adapt” (maladapt) would be perceived as bad.  Explanatory style is the way which someone explains to themselves WHY a situation happens to them. here are three dimensions of explanatory style, including: stable/unstable global/specific internal/external To better explain each of these dimensions, we’ll describe them in terms of a hypothetical event, e.g. failing one’s exam: The terms “stable/unstable” refer to continuity →  whether or not an event is likely to repeat itself. If o...

  I’d like to start this blog with a message to all of those with toxic parents (one or both):   I’m sorry if you’ve had to manage the stress and if you have felt betrayed by the notion that a parent should be a major part of your support system. The truth is: they should be. But unfortunately, for you, it feels impossible. Don’t shame yourself for feeling resentment, just remember that at times it’s ok to feel that way because your feelings are valid. I’m sorry if you started to compare your parents to others and felt discouraged by the reality of your homelife. For some of you, this might have occurred if you visited a friend’s house and were shocked by their parents’ non-toxic behaviours. One might say that every household is different and has their own problems, and this is true. But for you, your household makes you feel unsafe and emotionally taxed. As you grow older, know that it is ok to stand up for yourself, and that you deserve better because it is not fair to walk ...

  Can you see the suffering and anguish that consumes me in this photo? No, you can’t.  Everyone has skeletons in their closet and this is my skeleton story.  On the surface, I seemed normal. At least, that’s what I wanted to be. I posed as if I was living the ideal dream. I’m smiling, but deep down, I hated every inch of myself. Although my body looks slim and fit, in reality, it was malnourished and very underweight. The sun glowed on my skin, and yet, I still felt cold and empty. I had painted the picture on Instagram of a flawless girl, with a perfect life. I yearned to be that girl; the one whose beauty everyone admired and wanted to be around. I knew I wasn’t, and yet it seemed like everyone else was. No matter how many times I ran, skipped dinner, criticized myself, and morphed every part of my life, it was never enough. I constantly set this invisible bar, higher and higher, until it was no longer reachable.  When this photo was taken, I was with my family fo...

  “Life is so busy; I never have time for myself and I never really take a sufficient break”. As students, we can relate to this common thought that consistently runs through our brains on a daily basis. But the truth is, no matter how busy life gets there is always time to do what we love! The real problem comes down to our ability to take a step back and recognize that a break is needed in our everyday lives.  Of course, online school has been in full swing for a while but some of us may still have some difficulties time managing as well as getting used to this online environment. Everyday, may seem a lot busier for a variety of reasons. Maybe we are taking more time to complete a task because we don’t have an organized schedule in place. Or maybe, all the screen fatigue has been taking a really huge toll on our mental health!  Based off of my personal experiences of completing university studies online, these are some daily struggles that I have dealt with. However, th...

  Now that we are close to the end of the first month of 2021, I was hoping you could ponder about the following questions: 1) Have you made any lifestyle changes?  2) Have you started to meet your New Year’s resolutions?  If you have answered yes to any of these questions, then you have set a reasonable and attainable goal for yourself this year and you are off to a great start! But, if you have answered no to these questions, it is totally okay. This happens to many of us. We often set goals that may require more time and effort for us to achieve. Or on the other hand the goal we have set for ourselves may just need to be re-evaluated to fit our lifestyle needs!  Of course, everyone is always so excited once new year comes around. It’s a new year everyone creates a new years’ resolution thinking that they are going to totally transform their lifestyle. But, what ends of happening is that many cannot follow through with their plans and some may even give up! What’s ...

  Dear Diary,  You see, in January,  the sky is at its darkest again. I have noticed that things feel darker when my feet are cold. My feet stay cold all the time these days. When there is no light outside, the darkness inside takes on a deeper, blacker hue. The kind of darkness you see for a couple of seconds after you put all the lights out at night. Those two seconds of darkness feel darker than the rest of the dark until your eyes adjust to it. My eyes seemed to have bypassed the need for such an adjustment.  Even so, the sun broke out the other day (although briefly) after days of dense, sticky darkness hanging in the sky. Majorly torn between the impulse to scurry away to a dark corner and walk into the sun squinting, with one eye open, I moved my desk by the window for the day. It was-- I sensed--  a fair bargain for it was equidistant to my dark, familiar corner and the blinding sun. From the window,  I watched iridescent rays bounce off the surface...

  Hi boo,  Sorry, this took so long. I read your email the moment I received it and have been reading it at least once every day ever since. I am afraid I might have memorised most of it already, for I read it again and again and again to feel your soft, balmy warmth exude from it each time. I menat to write to you a long time ago, but these days I find myself so burned out by the end of the day that the words simply keep floating in the air and I have the hardest time stringing them into sentences.  Thank you for writing me a love letter and thank you for making it about you. Thank you for emailing me this and not mailing it like how the quarantine-fatigued enthu-cutlets have started to these days (Is this a new social media trend that I didn’t catch up to, yet?). I like this better. I don't think I can deal with emotions when they come sealed in a tangible thing; now more than ever. I like this better. Between yearning for stupid ol’ letters and romanticising the heck o...