Overthinking

 Overthinking is when you start to think or analyze something for an excessive amount of time. At some point in everyone’s life, they are bound to overthink. These thoughts can be minor, like overthinking what to buy at the grocery store, or a major issue, like a job decision. Usually, minor scenarios can be easily overcome. For example, at the grocery store, your overthinking will hopefully stop once you make a decision and leave. However, the major issues can interfere with your daily life, work, and relationships. When it begins to interfere, you might notice that you are deviating from your present duties and others seem agitated when you talk about the topic. Adding on, this is unhealthy because it prevents you from moving forward and taking the past as a lesson for the future, as cliché as it sounds. In addition, it can destroy relationships because you become toxic towards others. For example, you might come off as up-tight because you present predicaments of what will happen, shoot down others opinions, and earn the reputation of being a negative entity.

If you do not recognize your overthinking, and as it progresses, it makes you become your own worst enemy because you start to doubt your abilities and your general perception of yourself. 

We will use a school situation as an example: 

You are stuck on course planning and feel overwhelmed about which courses to take, considering that you still have many credits to complete. You feel overwhelmed by the amount, worry about ambiguity, and start to perseverate on what happens if you don’t get the course you want. As you do this, you might find yourself obsessing about it through your behaviour, like checking the waitlist frequently, hours on the school course catalogue, and talking about it non-stop to your social circle and dismissing any of their suggestions. You also start to deem yourself as a failure and doubt your academic future. 

So, what can we do to cope?

How to Cope

Try this perspective: list out some questions and answer them. The point of this coping exercise is to engage in reflection. 

Turning to our example, this could include a variety of questions: 

How vital is this course to my degree?

Do I need it now or can I take it later?

Am I worried because I want to finish my degree sooner or am I comparing myself to others who are ahead of me?

Would this negatively or positively impact my GPA right now? If so, when is the appropriate time to meet my expectations or rethink my course load?

How much time have I been thinking about this or how often do I bring it up?

How is my social circle responding to the topic when I bring it up?

Am I listening to my social circle if they provide suggestions? 

How much control do I have over the situation?

After answering them, try to re-analyze your own behaviour and think of solutions for relaxation and tackling the situation in chunks. This means that you would take small components from the situation and formulate solutions individually rather than all at once. Then, if applicable to your situation, consider taking guidance from someone with more experience. In this school example, consider an alumni or academic counsellor. In addition, if you realize that your social circle is collapsing, try to revive it by acknowledging your toxic behaviour or engaging in another, enjoyable topic. This might not fix everything, but it can make you feel better considering that you are improving in reflection.

What if I know an overthinker?

If you think that someone is trapped in this cycle, it is better to approach them in a calming way because remember, people who are overthinking are anxious about the situation. However, you do not have to force yourself to fix it, you can also give yourself space from the person to avoid becoming emotionally drained. Then, approach them if you feel ready. However, if you feel like the relationship is collapsing and not worth saving because of its stress, clearly state to the overthinker as to why you want to end your connection. After all, your mental health should also be prioritized!

What if I am the Overthinker?

On the other hand, if you are the overthinker, try to recognize the impacts that it might have on your relationships, and do realize that it will agitate others.You can continue practicing reflection and create a balanced mindset for yourself. Of course, overthinking is different for everyone, and not everyone can easily overcome it. 

I hope this gives you all some insight on overthinking! Feel free to leave any comments or suggestions for coping strategies.