The Uncertainty by leea

Hello there! 

It’s nice to meet you! My name is leea and I’m a Psychology student at UBC. Given that this is my first time making a post, I would like to do a little self-introduction. I’ll take a page out of my professors’ generic get-to-know-you ice breakers and share what my hobbies are first. During my spare time, I really enjoy reading books, particularly poetry nowadays, and falling down the rabbit hole of binging Korean dramas. Before COVID-19 hit the world, I also loved exploring the different coffee shops in Vancouver. Whether it be for the aesthetic of these shops or their actual coffee, I’ve come to appreciate these little excursions as breaks from the busyness of life sometimes. 

This fall, I’ll be entering into my fourth year of my undergraduate degree. It certainly isn’t what I imagined my final year to look like, but I’m nonetheless excited for what’s to come. However, I would be lying if I say I’m also not anxious of what my future will look like once I graduate. “What do you want to do in the future” has always been my least favourite question partly because I, myself, don’t even know the answer. Given the chaotic state that the world is in right now and my general confusion with what I want to pursue as a career, my anxiety has definitely gotten worse.

It seems that as time ticks away, the uncertainty of the future becomes more daunting. 

Perhaps it’s the lack of control that makes us feel insecure about ourselves. Or, maybe it’s the fear of witnessing our efforts, that we’ve so tirelessly devoted into our endeavours, be deemed useless. Regardless of what our reasons are, I believe it’s important to first acknowledge that they’re valid. Even the silliest worries stem from our most genuine feelings, hence, they don’t deserve to be discounted or neglected. Then comes the understanding that are just certain things that are beyond our control. By recognizing the truth, we gradually reduce the impact of its power on us. Like a deep wound, there will scarring regardless of how much we obsess over the pain it’s currently inflicting on us. What’s left for us to do is to be aware of the tangible present instead of trying to live in unpredictable future that’s built upon a combination of how we spend our time right now and the nature of…life. In doing so, we’ll learn that uncertainty is merely a part of us, but not all that is of us. 

It’s not something that can be resolved, but rather an aspect of life that requires acceptance.  

I recently learned a new Latin expression called “Carpe diem.” According to Google, its underlying meaning encourages us to, and I quote, “seize the day” and focus our energy on the present so to make it the best yet. In turn, we’ll know that we’ve exerted our greatest efforts into equipping ourselves against the future and have no regrets when we look back into history. While it can be beneficial to be curious about the tomorrows, it can also set us back from achieving the goals and exploring the options that we have today. One step at a time, and maybe we’ll just be able to enjoy our journey to the future, and witness our hard work yield the fruitful outcomes that we once yearned for even if they manifest in the simplest forms. 

So, to those of us, including myself, who are currently experiencing any forms of doubt for the future, to us I say “Carpe diem.”